June 22, 2020 is when Covid really hit home for me. It was “real” for months before, since the tail end of 2019 actually, but it really settled in and took root in my life, and in my head. Everything clearly changed from that day onward, but that is stating the obvious. I’m here to look at more subtle changes, at least two of which that I’m aware of. I’m sure there are others that will bubble up as we move on out of this Covid era, and into whatever the future has.
Fear, Loss, Reality, Misinformation, Disinformation, the list is long, but in some ways it is short.
Three things:
What did I receive coming into my mind?
How did I decipher it?
How did I respond to it?
Inspiration changed, and some things moved on the inside, that I just didn’t even know or recognize, then or even now. But where am I going with all this?
My personal arts practice changed, mind you it was always in flux, but during this time, as I couldn’t go to the art store like before, and I had order supplies online, which is weird in and of itself for me because I’m pretty tactile with my process. I found myself grasping at straws, straws made of smoke.
And one day it all changed.
I learned to work with what I had, work with what was in front of me. I cut, I tore, I poured, I got ugly, but in the end I learned, I created, I stayed creating, but in altogether different way. I didn’t worry about what I needed, I made art with what I had. I didn’t set aside time for art, I did it throughout the day. As I made coffee in the morning, I’d rip up some sheets of paper, as I went back and forth through the day, a mark here, a scratch there, I had no end, only the journey was important, and maybe that is part of the lesson?
I know that I am giving words to a creative process that is entirely visual, and many ways invisible, so words can’t do this justice. But there will be more to come.